Hallelujah

"...Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I use to live alone before i knew you
I have seen your flag on marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's cold and it's a broken hallelujah..."

~Leonard Cohen 

It's fair

Do I really look like a guy with a plan, Harvey? I don’t have a plan… The mob has plans, the cops have plans. … Maroni has plans. Gordon has plans. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I’m not a schemer, I show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.

It’s the schemers who put you where you are. You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. … Nobody panics when the expected people get killed. Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plan is horrifying. If I tell the press that tomorrow a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics. Because it’s all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die, everybody loses their minds! Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey? … It’s fair.

ये वो सहर तो नहीं

ये दाग दाग उजाला, ये शब्-गज़ीदा सहर
वो इंतज़ार था जिसका, ये वो सहर तो नहीं

this scarred, marred brightness, this bitten by night dawn
the one that was awaited, surely this is not that dawn

Faiz Ahmed Faiz in August 1947. more applicable in current state of India.  

जिन्हें नाज़ है हिन्द पर वो कहाँ है

As the year ends and i look back, i am more disillusioned from the dream Gandhi and Nehru dreamt for us. This is not the country we were promised and i feel so helpless that i cant change a damn thing. So bloody helpless.  

ये कूचे ये नीलाम घर दिल-कशी के

ये लुटते हुए कारवा ज़िन्दगी के 

कहाँ है कहाँ है मुहाफ़िज़ खुदी के

जिन्हें नाज़ है हिन्द पर वो कहा है 

मदद चाहती है ये हव्वा की बेटी 

यशोदा की हम-जींस राधा की बेटी
पयम्बर की उम्मत जुलेखा की बेटी
जिन्हें नाज़ है हिन्द पर वो कहाँ है

जरा मुल्क के रहबरों को बुलाओ
ये कुचे ये गलियां ये मंजर दिखाओ
जिन्हें नाज़ है हिन्द पर उनको बुलाओ
जिन्हें नाज़ है हिन्द पर वो कहाँ है
कहाँ है कहाँ हैं कहाँ हैं ?

I was one of them.

Lets keep fun in computing

“I think that it’s extraordinarily important that we in computer sci- ence keep fun in computing. When it started out, it was an awful lot of fun. Of course, the paying customers got shafted every now and then, and after a while we began to take their complaints se- riously. We began to feel as if we really were responsible for the successful, error-free perfect use of these machines. I don’t think we are. I think we’re responsible for stretching them, setting them off in new directions and keeping fun in the house. I hope the field of computer science never loses its sense of fun. Above all, I hope we don’t become missionaries. Don’t feel as if you’re Bible sales- men. The world has too many of those already. What you know about computing other people will learn. Don’t feel as if the key to successful computing is only in your hands. What’s in your hands, I think and hope, is intelligence: the ability to see the machine as more than when you were first led up to it, that you can make it more.” —Alan J. Perlis (April 1, 1922 – February 7, 1990) 

haqeeqat-e-ishq

Tum Haqeeqat-e-Ishq ho, ya fareb meri ankhon ka..
Na DiL se nikalte ho, na Zindagi main aate ho .

What the hell am i doing

Lately I’ve been drowning in inability to do things. Somethings happened which put a break on all the cool progress I made in last year and I don’t feel like I’m getting anything done. Numerous conversations with "me", some strange blogpost i have stumbled upon have started to make sense. 

The best i read is this. 

They can’t just decide that they want to start a company and keep it, or to move to the beach and play the keyboard for a meager living because they realize that would totally fulfill them. Instead they drown under a running faucet of infinite caveats and doubts available at a moment’s notice from their abstract thinking. They are stuck in a labyrinth of endless scenarios that never existed and never plausibly will exist, but that inform their decisions and beliefs all the same.    

... 

You will never live the life you want by wandering aimlessly through hypothetical scenarios. I’ve tried it, it doesn’t work. I’ve also tried just doing something. That worked. 

So i'm trying. 

Cheers,